The Things I Wish I Could Say

As a business owner, I frequently have conversations that make me go “huh?” I get to deal with the general public, and with customers, and let me just say, there are a LOT of things I wish I could say to a client- and sometimes I actually do. I manage to usually keep my more sarcastic comments in my head- and I am super proud of myself at containing the sarcasm font. You might be able to relate to a few of these, and maybe you have a few of your own. If so, feel free to add yours below.

Here’s my top list of the things I wish I could say to clients

1. “I’m sorry you got screwed by the last digital marketer, but that doesn’t mean I can work for free.” I can’t tell you how often we get called in to fix a disaster of a situation, and are asked to do so at a reduced cost. I’m sorry, it just doesn’t work that way. In many cases, the disasters we’re cleaning up are going to take us EXTRA work.

2. “Changing directions often in your business is screwing yourself”. I see clients who are constantly tweaking their demographics, and target audience, just as they start to obtain some level of success. If you fail to stick with your message, and topic for a period of time, and are constantly trying to change up all your SEO targets, and Website stuff, rather than giving it time to work, it just is going to result in wasted efforts.

3. “When you tell me how to do my job, you aren’t leveraging my expertise”. I have had more than a few clients who tell me exactly how they want everything done, and they are completely unwilling to take any input, or anything different than exactly how they want it done. One example might be in choices of keywords for ads, or the way that things are worded. Another example is in how often we post on a social media account. YES. We can do exactly as you want. But posting twice a week, promoting only your business is likely not going to get you any growth, reach, or clients. After growing a group to 74,000 members, I might, just maybe have some practice, and some experience.

4. “No, I’m not going to train your team to do my job.” I’ve had people who basically want to hire a VA, for me to then train and spend the time to train their team, so that they can pay the VA. Um. That’s not how this works. First of all, you hired me for business strategy, and to provide specific digital marketing services. Unless you’d like to pay me at my full hourly rate to train your team, for the amount of time it would take, then the answer would be a “no”.

5. “No. You can’t directly hire my team, and try to cut me out of the equation.” There is a good reason a business owner would put a non-compete in place, and this is it. Yes. I see what you’re trying to do there, and appreciate you trying to save money, but we are not price gouging you, and we are providing a ton of strategy, and other stuff you may not see. Yes, it is unethical to try to hire my team away from me, and pay them under the table.

6. “It’s lovely that you’re going on vacation and all, but please don’t tell me you have a budget crunch.” Seriously. Good lord. I have no answer for this one- but I’ve heard it. And by the way, pausing marketing efforts isn’t going to help your business any- it’s likely going to make it take even longer to get your results.

7. “You REALLY need to ask for credentials and look at a portfolio before starting.” I can’t tell you how many people I know who go for the $500 website or whatever from some random developer in a random country. We end up fixing a lot of these sites, because they aren’t what the user wanted, or they have a lot of things not quite right with them. Unfortunately, you do get exactly what you pay for — up to a point- with websites, and branding.

8. “Sure, I’m sure someone can do it cheaper. There will always be someone out there who can do it cheaper.” Seriously. If you don’t like the price I quote you, there is always someone out there who can do it cheaper.

9. “Please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t spend money you can’t afford”. No reasonable marketer can guarantee your results- nor should they. If you are on the brink of insolvency, spending money you don’t have, is NOT a good look or feel. Yes, we can and do work miracles, but coming from a place of desperation is never good.

10. “If you’re doing lead generation, answer the damn phone. Seriously. If you are doing Google or Facebook Ads, or any kind of lead generation, the faster you respond, the more likely the leads are to convert. The half life for someone who calls, or fills out a form online is very, very short.

I could give you lots of other examples. But this is a nice start. Think carefully, and think about how what you’re doing is affecting your business, and your life.

Does marketing make you want to pull your hair out? Haley is a Marketing strategist and social media expert who can help you find your magic marketing method.

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