I’m a mom of four kids. If you know anything about being a mom, we give everything we have to our kids. The kids come first. I’m also a wife of many years, and the best part — I’m a people pleaser.
You can kind of guess how that worked for me. Which is to say, it didn’t really. Or rather, it worked OK for everyone else, but things didn’t end up so great for me. It meant ending up at 427 pounds, unhappy with life, and in a ton of pain. It was pretty clear that something had to change, and that change needed to come from me.
It also meant that I hit a wall, when the doctor told me I was going to die if I didn’t lose weight, and preferably have bariatric surgery.
In short, I was going to have to up-end my entire life. The way my family eats. The way I exercise, the way I eat and prepare food. I also was going to have to change pretty much everything in my life. Vitamins, hours I work, everything.
What I didn’t realize was how transformative the entire experience would be. I put myself first for the first time ever. I took my vitamins. I exercised. I got sleep. I started picking and choosing clients.
I lived life on my own terms. In fact, I quit caring what anyone else thought, or wanted. I put myself and my own care in front of the kids, the husband, the clients, and guess what? Life didn’t end the way I thought it would.
I literally thought everything would end or go south unless I controlled every aspect of my life, and gave my all to every single little thing.
Boy was I wrong. So, so incredibly wrong.
Instead of everything going badly, everything started to go right. I lost 175 pounds. I changed how my family eats, and I actually enjoy food more now than before, because guess what, we’re eating better than ever before. (I’ve heard from people that they won’t have bariatric surgery because they like food too much).
My relationship with my kids improved even more. And they respected me for losing weight. The weight started to melt off pre-surgery (I lost 50 pounds before I had bariatric surgery), and I started to be able to do things I hadn’t been able to do before. My relationship with my husband improved- dramatically. It’s almost like I’m married to a new man. How cool is that?
Best of all, my business grew, and grew, and grew.
It was almost magic.
I quit caring what other people thought. Of course, I made sure that everyone was taken care of, but my needs were put first. Everything got better.
It was amazing. And it all goes back to not giving a flip, and focusing on my own happiness, and my own needs first. Everything radiated from that.
In fact, I can tell that when I slip up, and don’t put my own needs first, and start to care too much, it sends me into a tailspin, and I start to suffer more. That’s when I realize it’s time to flip my mindset again. And it’s back to the races again.
I find that the more I practice the fine art of not giving a flip, the better things get. I focus on happiness, and on my own happiness. Everything radiates from that.